The Duchess and the Sailor
by asarahworld
Summary: After returning to London 1966, Ben thinks of Polly.
1. Ben

Ben Jackson had seen quite a bit of the world in his travels, both before and after meeting the Doctor. Since returning to London back in 1966, he'd been restless – he'd met the Doctor exactly when he'd needed to, always wanting after an adventure, and now he was once more stuck. Well, no, he reasoned, that wasn't entirely true, he did have a small dinghy that he'd purchased, unable to face the thought of not being on the sea for six months. That had been two years ago. But now even the ocean had lost her once alluring attraction, for after seeing the stars how could mere water hold his attention.

Ben knew that it was not the planets he'd visited that distracted him from the sea. It most certainly wasn't the aliens, well, mostly. He had to admit that there were some creatures he'd met that occasionally re-surfaced in a nightmare – Daleks and Cybermen were mad enough in their own right, and Macra certainly came to mind for the sailor. But it wasn't the aliens that Ben remembered the most from his time in the TARDIS.

Polly often crossed his mind. He thought of her often, his Duchess. She was married now, he knew, and in the time since he'd last seen her had more than likely had a child. He wondered if she was happy with her husband, if she thought of him as much as he did her, if she worked or stayed home, and other frivolous thoughts.

It did no good to dwell on questions that might be best left unanswered, he told himself every time. They were living their own lives, on their own terms. It was pointless to think of her, unless it was to remember their time together, on the TARDIS with the Doctor and Jamie. But think of her he did. He thought of her intelligence – defeating the Cybermen with nail polish came quickly to mind – and he remembered how beautiful she was, how easy she had been to talk to, her jokes and playful teasing. It was a fantasy that kept him going, despite his grounding in realism, because he missed her.

He missed her. Why was it so hard to admit that, even to himself? One day, he'd look her up, he promised himself many a lonely night. Find her address, give her a ring, see if she would like to have a coffee or something. Catch up, the way old friends so often do. But he knew that that would never be enough, for he fancied her still. He'd never mentioned it while they'd had the time – she'd certainly chatted him up the first time they'd met, but that had been different. Or could have been different, if not for the TARDIS. Or would that have made any difference at all?


	2. Polly

It was nearing two o'clock in the morning, and Polly couldn't sleep. She'd tossed and turned the entire night, memories tumbling in her mind. She'd sometimes feared, all those years ago, that it had been dreadfully obvious that she had been in love with Ben, but he – nor the Doctor or Jamie – had ever given any sign of noticing her affection. It was only now, late at night, when sleep evaded her, did Polly allow herself the luxury of re-living her time with – her time in the TARDIS.

It had been nearly eleven years since they'd last seen each other, the engagement broken off. She was, Polly reminded herself, happily married to Christopher, and had been for the last eight years. _He_ was, she assumed, still travelling the world on his ship. Perhaps he'd captain his own ship, sailing the seven seas on no one's orders but his own. She hoped that, wherever he was, Ben was happy.

Her midnight musings were interrupted by a large snore beside her. Christopher's hand reached out, obviously unconsciously wanting her in his arms. Polly smiled sadly, lying down, her back to her husband. She loved him dearly, that much was true, but it wasn't the same love that she'd felt for Ben Jackson. Still, she thought, it wasn't fair to hold them to the same standard. She and Ben had seen so much together, had experienced the best and the worst that time and space had to offer. It wasn't Christopher's fault that he hadn't seen the amazing things that she had seen, that he could never understand the universe the way she did. She and Ben had met when they were young, and then they'd seen the stars. Not many couples could say that. Though sometimes she dreamed that he was laying beside her, she loved her husband. But that didn't mean that she could never dream about what might have been.


End file.
